i don’t know if it really matters, in the end

lost, in miles upon miles of clouds. drowning in the muffled, strangely blurred sounds. i don’t know where you found me. but here i am, somehow. standing in the centre of oblivion. and maybe there was something before this. but all i know is now.

as my eyes droop closed. my shoulders slumping slowly towards the ground. and i think, that maybe, i could be okay. if just stayed right here. forever.

because it’s been a long day. and god knows, could use something easy in my life, for a change. so maybe the world is ending, but… i guess it’s okay. i mean, it was always going to happen to someone, someday.

but the dishes need doing. and my room is a mess. and the deadlines won’t go away, no matter how hard i try to forget. and life just keeps on going, doesn’t it?

and i think… i think i was going to say something. but i don’t know if it really matters, in the end.

Some sleepy, lazy day poetry. I don’t know why, but the last couple days I’ve just been taking a lot of downtime, and thinking about… I don’t know, a lot of different things in my life, and how I want to go about this summer, and, I don’t know, just feeling really lost. I’m kind of reevaluating, like, all my life choices ever right now. Sorry for all of the sad posts by the way, I hope it’s not too depressing, I’m just having a really hard time getting my shit together right now. And it doesn’t really change things, but writing it out does definitely help me understand what’s going on to some extent, and, I don’t know, my therapist thinks that’s a good thing. And I always feel like reading about other people’s experiences is really good for my mental health, and oftentimes helps me understand myself, so even though I’ve been beating myself up for talking about my feelings online so much of late… I don’t know, I mean in the end I guess you just have to put out the kind of content that I would want to consume, and hope someone else feels that way too. 🙂

How are you all feeling? What’s up in your lives? If you feel like it, I’d love to know in the comments, hearing from my very small audience always kind of makes my day. 🙂

Lots of love,


so… i have a face!

Hey guys! So this honestly is nowhere near a big enough deal to warrant a whole post in its honour, but here I am, making one anyway, because, I don’t know. It feels somehow like a pretty huge milestone to me.

Yesterday on my Wattpad, I did a face reveal–because I’m at the point where, I don’t know, I’m tired of being ashamed or embarrased of my appearance, and the things I do online, and because this summer I’m planning on just working really hard on growing this platform and making not just more content, but different content, more quality content, maybe starting a more typical YouTube channel with vlogs and book reviews and all those things–and probably by the end of the summer starting to run this platform under my real name. This is just a first step, but it means a lot to me, and it’s taken a long year of working on myself and this site to get there. So without further ado, here is my face! (ft. terrible lighting, and very frizzy hair but oh well, at least I tried)

And of course, no face reveal would be complete without the 1am work selfie I don’t actually remember taking ft. my room

Anyhow. I guess…. that is it? Wow.

Lots of love,