harvest moon
i wake up, my throat cracked and dry
just ten minutes away from making the deadline
but i’m trying to be calm, this time
keep my breath steady
sit with the tide
even though the bridge is burning
even though it hasn’t rained since july
i wake up, and my lips are sore
i miss you like the wind, rushing through the trees
i miss you like the quiet nights
like the churning seas
like the sky, reaching for the shore
the leaves are dried up, but they aren’t falling
and i’ve never seen the river this low
sit outside, talking under my breath on the phone
wonder if the power’ll go out
wondering if i’m really alone
so i lie awake at night, shouting into the void
of my pillow, burying my head under sheets
and trying to summon tears that never come
at this point, i’m just looking for release
but when it comes, i don’t know what to do
so i lie on my back
and every muscle in my body aches
in my head, i imagine that i’m someone else
with a driver’s license
a better state of mind
with bones made of steel
and muscles carved from stone
and then i’m holding you, and then you’re crying
and i don’t know how to help you
and you say, stop looking at me that way
i’m trying
it’s all i know how to do
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