lonely nights, which are slightly better with sweaters and radio (spoken word!)

i wasn’t really feeling up to it, so i took a break for the month of august and just let myself stick to written poetry. but, well, a couple nights ago, i was feeling up to it, so i finally did something i’ve been wanting to do for a long time–i set a poem to music! it’s from danosongs.com and it’s one of my better recordings, if i do say so myself. 🙂

check out the text to this poem here. (add link when post is published.)

trigger warning for discussion of self-harm.


you see, i am a warrior. you see, i am on a treadmill. you see, when i look in the mirror i want to punch myself and that means faster. and faster. and faster. and you lazy asshole, didn’t you hear me when i said go faster. didn’t you hear me when i said you don’t have time to laugh. don’t have time to love. don’t have time to grow up. and how you feel about this is kind of irrelevant. because eventually, it’ll all be over. and because my head is swimming with sharks, and because i have fucking social anxiety. and by social anxiety, i mean i will stay up all night rather than risk the slightest bit of anger. and because setting boundaries and sleeping at decent times is so yesterday, all right? because you see, i am on a treadmill. and every time i take a step, it just keeps getting faster, and faster, and faster. and every time i hold my breath, i just keep sinking faster, and faster. pounding, and the flicker of pages as i skim-read harry potter. and it all just keeps spinning, and spinning, and spinning. faster and faster. you see, i am a warrior. you see, apparently i have a future. a future i’d die for.

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