yellow car syndrome

the world is what you make it, my dear / so close your eyes / and wave it all away / that’s another problem, for another day / you don’t have to look too close / at the animal guts on the side of the road / just grimace, and try to look away / it happens, doesn’t it? / pretty things die every single day / and the weight of it is going to weigh down your shoulders / oh baby, your luck isn’t gonna change / so you better learn to deal with it / come on / why don’t you run, and hide away / why don’t you fall asleep under your bed / with the lights on / and scare off spiders with a broom / your little baby heart skipping a beat / cause you never grew up, not really / just fossilized inside yourself / buried hidden layers in the dirt / like sidewalk chalk between wet fingers / it makes your skin crawl, doesn’t it? / and maybe that’s just in your head / maybe you were thirteen and desperate / maybe you burn, burn burn / with half-baked assumptions and fever dreams of a future / to sweat out later / ’cause the world is what you make it / flickers and skips in your mind / you won’t remember in the morning / and surrender quietly / to the sun beating down on your back

So, for those of you who didn’t know the word for this until a while ago like myself, yellow car syndrome (or red car syndrome, or blue, whatever, the first time I heard it used it was yellow car and now I think it sounds better) is the phenomenon where once you become aware or something and start looking for it–for example, thinking about buying a yellow car–suddenly, it will seem like everyone on the road is driving yellow cars.

I don’t know if this scares other people like it scares me, but I think the idea that my perception of reality is that strongly influenced by what’s on my mind is one of the most terrifying concepts to me, and I tried to capture that in this piece. The idea that there are all these things that I could be missing right now, that my brain is just tuning out is absolutely horrifying, I don’t know–I guess we all like to think what we see is an unbiased perception of what’s going on around us. Every time I start noticing things this way, I’m just reminded that it’s not.