best foot forward

been sharpening old pencils from my public school days / reading drawing tutorials online / and carrying a sketchbook with me everywhere i go / even though for years, i told myself all art was stupid / cause i was practical, and smart / i wore button up shirts and dress pants / i had the next five years down on paper / yeah i’ve got generations of folded-up dreams / carefully preserved on the closet / fur coats and blazers / they’re a heavy burden to bear / cause if i can’t make this work, there’s no one who’s gonna live it for me / so i’ve been playing guitar / and singing half-assed covers into my phone / until i make myself cry over gaps in my memory / and cracks in my bones / listening back for things i messed up / and trying to improve / i’ve been taking deep breaths / and doing my best not to take it personally / and laugh off the things that two years ago, would have had me sobbing on the floor / cause i’m a delicate little thing / half-glazed ceramic under heat / been cleaning out my room / and trying not to take myself so seriously / screaming into jars / and using buttercream words like love and darling more frequently / and half the time, it drives me crazy / but with baby steps forward/ i think i’m getting somewhere