weeping summer
this summer, the trees buckle
under the weight of september
an unwelcome guest, she comes too soon
her raindrops drip down my cheeks
and the ice-cold water only ever
gets up to my toes
so i run as fast as i can for the horizon
in search of better days
but my limbs are not my own
as jagged tree-branches rip at my clothes
and oh god, what am i getting into?
so i try to speak, but i’m all out of air
as the commercials play on loop
and butterflies dance in my hair
and i try to find you
between messages unsent
i sit at my desk, sunday afternoon
spinning out codes on the floor
of my good old living room
i think about gods i don’t believe in
and things i’ve got to do
before i’m gone
isn’t it fun? how the things you hated
soften under a rose-coloured touch
how in the hindsight of the present,
maybe my elders knew a thing or two
i run out on the driveway
a second, maybe two
and feel the water soak through my shirt
let me be the waterfall
of bitterness and hurt
let me be careful what i wish for
let me get my dream come true
let me sit at the end of the tunnel
surrounded by light, and think
oh god, what am i going to do?
vertigo swirls around my stomach
i don’t like wind in my hair
i don’t like happenstance or wilderness
i don’t like breathing in this air
but i do, i do, i do
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