So… to explain the origins of this poem, basically, for a solid four years, I was bullied in school, and I’d be lying if I said that’s why I have anxiety, but it definitely messed me up, and I guess this was just my best attempt at talking back to that part of myself.
my bones creak, like weary floorboards of an ancient home. and these things add up, you know–like, what do they say? straw that breaks the camel’s back? i feel kinda stupid, even saying that. ’cause there are so many things in my life i take forgranted, you know?
’cause i’m an ungrateful little kid, i’m arrogant and confused. i talk shit, and blend in, change my opinion to match a room.
and i use the wrong words all the time, when i’m trying to tell you that i’m sorry. sometimes it comes out like static, or a nightmare of wanting. sometimes it rattles my bones.
but i am trying not to let my opinions bake in an oven, and stay that way for the rest of eternity. and i just hope that i do good by the monsters under my bed, because i’ve lost too many years sitting in a graveyard, and watching myself become history from another person’s point of view.
but it’s been a while since it slammed into me, in burning yellow hue. oh you poor little bird. look at you.
In my photography course, we were learning about parallax–how everything looks different depending on what lens you look it. For example, if you close one eye and look through the other, than close that eye and look through the one you just close, you notice the world around you shift, just a little–but if you open both, it kinda meets somewhere in the middle. (I don’t know if this is common knowledge or not, but I just learned it and I think it’s so cool, please humour me.)
Anyway, I think it’s a really pretty word, and I thought there was a poem somewhere in that, and this is what I ended up making. I hope you like it. 🙂