i’m walking through these brambles, i’m tripping on the roots
of trees that have stood here since long before i came here
and when i leave, someday, they will continue to grow up to the sky
and i wonder if my mother has walked these paths before
if my grandmother collapsed in despair between tree-roots,
and if her mother sat in fields of scotch broom, despondent
trying to pull them out one-by-one to no avail
i prick myself on the briar rose and wonder how long disease
has marked these leaves, made petals shrivel and fall to the ground
and i’d pick you a bouquet, darling
but i don’t know when i’ll come back around
and at night, everything feels monstrous and scary
and the wind howls songs i’ve never heard on the radio
never blasted at work to get away from my mind
never hummed to myself, tried with all my might to stay on tune
my lungs shake like feathers
i’ve got nothing left to do
i’m walking through these briars, and i’m wading through the creek
the jagged rocks painting red along the soles of my feet
remember when we were little kids, pushing at the boundaries and wandering
through the suburban wilderness out into the unknown
walk until we were dizzy, until your parents got worried and it was far past time
to get home
i’m sitting by the river now, tracing the initials painted on stone
and i wonder how long my name will echo, when i leave this place
wonder how long it’ll take to fade from memory, before every one of my footsteps
has been erased
i’ll build a home in the trees
and i’ll trace the perimeter with each sunrise
i’ll make a home through the branches of the trees
and i’ll pretend i don’t give a fuck, even though i do
i’ll walk away, someday
and in the bottom of my chest, i’m always going to miss you