starving

my heart’s been a black hole / since i was just a little kid  / i’ve been sweeping up breadcrumbs, and holding onto flowers long after they’re dead / my heart’s been hungry for even the slightest scraps of affection / so i scrubbed the floors and i brushed my teeth, and i bent over backwards / just in case you couldn’t take me standing up / just in case i went too far, just in case i said too much / just in case you see me now, and i’m not so nice to the touch / i’ve been holding people’s hands just a bit too tight / and tugging on sweaters til they started to run / i’ve chased you halfway down the highway / asphalt burning at my feet / and vacuumed-sealed my fury / to be opened up at some later date  / i’ve been sitting by the faucet with a paper tongue /  couldn’t take my eyes off you all night / cause if i lose track of you in the chaos / then i know you’ll forget about me / ‘cause my best chapter is probably just a footnote / in your history / i’ve been starving for something i can’t even name since i was just a little kid / broken fingernails cracked lips, i’m thinking this is how it ends / i’m thinking hold your breath and swallow / when she tells you it’s all just pretend, she didn’t mean it / she never did / and it’s all well and good until you’re / just a little bit too much / i filled up your cup until it overflowed / and who’s got time for that shit / i know / i know / i know

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