i can’t stand the sight of waterfalls, these days

and even that one photo of purple-blue galaxies feels overdone

and cliché, i’ve heard this song play just one

too many times in outlet malls and grocery stores

and now all the ukulele strumming makes me feel is tired

and i can’t stand it, everyone around me so giddy and excited

for what comes next, and all i can do is sit there in my room

wishing for that time machine to finally come through

i’m not good at change, i never have been

and in my head i’m thirty and i’m happy and it’s all

some rose-tinted vision, really just a cheap vintage filter

on my phone

it’s just another lie you told me

another promise that you will never keep

i don’t want to change the world anymore

i just want to go to sleep

i want to handle you with care

like you’re made of porcelain

i want to play the strings just right

’cause i don’t believe it anymore

when people say they’re sorry

or they just want to help me

‘cause i’ve heard that one before

heard it spoken ‘til the words were weary and worn in

sickly-sweet and rotten on my tongue

but god, i want to

i want to trust every person i meet

i want to hold your hand and sing for weeks

i want to make apple pies and stand outside in the sun

i want to trace back the fissure right down the break

i want to step back onto a stage, just like i used to

and sing through gritted teeth, a hopeful kind of ache

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I am SO proud of this piece–I think I want to submit it somewhere 🙂