i don’t really like this song, but it’s stuck in my brain
so i’ll listen out of pity
i’ll wash the dishes and i’ll bitch about work, and school
math assignments, my ever-aching back
i’ll sing to the refrain
i’ll wind the player back
‘cause i miss things i’ve never even had
stockings and pinafores
polaroid photos and low rise jeans
and dial-up internet
i miss a utopia i have never seen with the lights on
i see her in my dreams, i dance around her skirt on the ballroom floor
don’t know how i ended up here
except on the wings of random luck
i miss a wasted youth i don’t know
but she looks pretty perfect in the magazines
with her 16th birthday convertibles
getting drunk at parties, adulthood on free trial
doing bad things
with no consequence
i miss people i haven’t seen since the second grade
i hope they’re doing good
i hope they don’t fall asleep on a spiderweb
swaying in the wind
old phobias creeping over their skin
i hope the sun shines through their windows
i hope they read books and dog-ear the pages
i hope they drink lemonade and they give gifts to strangers
like it doesn’t cost them anything
i don’t like this song
but i can’t stop listening, need to know
how it ends, need to build it a casket and lay it down to rest
need to sing all the falsetto highs
‘til my throat is sore
need to go through the five stages of grief
for something that can’t die
because it’s not even a person
and i’ll be out of here before you know it
i’ll look back on old memories with a pit in my stomach
feel my heart wrench
and i will miss the lies you told me
flannel-soft and kind, right to the finish
Not entirely sure what this poem means, but I like how it turned out.