i’m bleeding out, slowly
in papercuts and bruises, crumpled tissues on the floor, because
the kindest people i know are always the most broken
the most furious and sharp, they’re sour to the touch
i’m bleeding out slowly from muttered remarks and unfortunate conclusions
the weekdays slipping out like cards between my
trembling fingertips, change the story
change the narrative, that old ache inside my gut
keep it just the same as it ever fucking was
and dig the groove deeper into my skin
cause i’m so scared to mess this up, and i’m even more scared
to win
scared of what it’ll do to me when i’ve got nothing left
to thoughtlessly pursue
when there’s not an easy button to press
a pillowcase calling my name
it whispers more more more
so i’m flipping the pages and i’m biting my lips ‘ til they ache
staying up late trying to capture the planes of your face
drawing clear lines and divisions
splitting the world up like the pieces in a pie
i never get it right, no matter how hard i try
rip up the canvas, snap the frame
i’m erring just on the side
of perfection, so fucking terrified
i’ll grow up and be just like you
i’ll be that person, i’ll let down little kids
i’ll make them beleive in fury and damnation
i’ll bite my tongue and think about you
about how hellfire touched your cheeks and something in you chose
to be good and kind
to try, try, try, even when blood drips off your lips
it’s the bravest thing a person can do
and when i lose faith in everyone
i still believe in you