anywhere but here

haven’t been feeling good of late / even though i’m sleeping fine / i swear / or sleeping normal, at least / doing all the bullshit i normally do and hoping / it won’t catch up to me / but the world’s been blurry of late / and i can’t keep my focus for the life of me / i’m still getting things done, don’t worry / don’t rest your hands on my shoulders / don’t panic and cry / yeah i’m still sticking to my deadlines / and keeping up my grades / the snow just fell, and it lights up the trees / it’ll be slush, dead and gone / all by next week /i spent months wishing for this moment / and now it’s here, i just want to go to sleep / i got my license last week / the second i could / how long before the exhilaration fades? before left turns and highway speeds / don’t send shivers down my spine? / i’m fed up of a life i haven’t even lived / so i cut my hair in the bathroom mirror / guess i got wrapped up in my head / i don’t want to look myself / i don’t want to be here, hands shaking at the steering wheel / i’ve had it up to here of reassuring platitudes / and coming of age rituals / how long before the night sky no longer brings me any awe? /  how long before things go to shit / before the floodwater rises / and the people i love are drawn back out to see / it’s all right / i can’t remember what they ever even meant to me  / and now i’m sitting in the passenger’s side / halfway there between “you and i” / cause  i don’t want to die / i just want to run / somewhere no one knows my name / i want to cut off all my hair / i want to be stupid and reckless / just catch the nearest plane 

which i won’t / but it’s a nice thought, isn’t it babe?

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