up at 7

sometimes it feels like i just blinked / and woke up in someone else’s story / the middle left a blank / until the very last minute, when a burst of panic comes my way / i’m up at 7 / dragging my feet / and i’m curling up in the blankets, watching tv / clinging to the nearest body that’ll hold me / even if it’s burning up my skin / and i’m bandaging up scraped palms / swollen cheeks / on the bathroom counter / the guidance counsellor tells me not to worry / but every day flies past like a shooting star, always just out of reach / cause one minute, i was ten years old / and now i am twisting the keys and starting the ignition / again / again / i’m up at 9 / jacket over flannel over turtleneck sweater / laying my head in your lap and crying my eyes out / picking gravel out of the wound / bit. by bit. by bit

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