do you ever zone out sometimes
on the ninth hour
you’ve been staring at some pixels on a screen
but no matter how hard you try
it never comes out right
and holy shit, this is how i’m spending my life
i’m spinning around my room in a secondhand dress
i’m closing the curtains and slamming my head
against the maple desk
i’m bleeding on the bathroom floor
holy shit, this is how the days go past
going to work
scrolling through my phone
and worshipping the sun, even as it drips down my throat
holy shit, do you remember
learning about it way back when we weren’t sure
if the sun would rise without blood spilled on marble
so we did it again, and again
for another day on earth
another chance to make it right
do you remember how that thought
used to haunt you at night
how you wondered in the tiniest part of your mind
what people might do
to keep their children alive
do you remember how you closed your eyes
before you looked into the sun; how it
was warm on your cheeks
it was brilliant and relentless
and the dew-soaked grass soaked your sneakers
so you walked home with wet feet
and is there anything more lonely
than standing up on your tiptoes to grab the tea
and spices, or driving yourself home
i’d go back to blind faith and simple rules
in a heartbeat
i’d colour inside the lines
stitch the constellations back together in perfect order
just to never leave your side
but on the ninth hour
staring at some pixels on a screen
i think i’ve found it
my missing puzzle piece.