turn off the lights with shaking fingertips
and go to bed, you don’t have a fucking clue girl
close your eyes, and search your soul
’cause you’ve got work to do
claw out your heart and set it down in the kitchen sink
that won’t be good for the septic field
dissect the little veins, close your eyes
and sleep it off, cast your mind to that funny place
where you’re five years old
and everything is okay, ’cause it sure as hell wasn’t then
rearrange the memories in your brain
until it’s all blur
turn on your phone, and put it all out there
in exciting headlines
and advice columns
’cause i know, i know
how to make it pretty
make it sweet
crush the ligaments between rubber tires
and don’t think about the things you have to do to survive
even when the bass feels like it’s going
to crack my skull right open
lay down the flowers along the rows of graves
but it’ll take you a lifetime to get to know the dead
but it’s fine
it’s all just in the name of progress
isn’t it?
and in the end, we’re all gonna be grateful
for a hundred thousand quiet deaths
cupped in my palms, running through my fingers
like bathwater
sticky-sweet, and so alive
I’ve been watching a lot of dystopian TV shows, with some pretty disturbing imagery–which is not a good idea for me (at least in big doses, so I’ve been trying to limit myself) because my brain is not too great with dealing with violence and gore. I would pay so much money for a streaming service while any blood or gore is blurred out, or it gives you a warning before a jumpscare, because I cannot handle it. I can read it, I can listen to it, but if I have to see it I will not think about anything else for weeks. It’s like, the media equivalent of eating a ton of candy, even though you know you’re gonna feel gross later, and you kinda feel gross now, but right now you just can’t stop. Anyway, it’s I think this is where that piece came from, but I’m honestly not 100% sure.