let’s paint a picture: it’s 12am, and i am in my head
tossing and turning
heart crashing into my ribcage like waves against the shore
and suddenly, all the empty spaces on my walls
have never ached more clearly
and what if they see me? what if they don’t?
what if i fuck up? what if i’m alone?
what if i run away to paris? what if i say no?
’cause maybe in another language, my heart would sing clear this time
clear, like the morning
clear like progress, one step at a time
clear like a green lawn, and the good life we all chased after
even when paradise started to rot in our teeth
when the walls began to sing
and the staircase buckled under my weight
and the songbirds looked more like vultures
closing in around me
and maybe i’m dreaming; i don’t even know
’cause i don’t trust my mind; not in this shit-show
you know that picture of you and me, from way back when?
and we’re sitting on the rock, looking out at the ocean
i thought you were the whole world to me
i thought you were gravity, you were freckles and sharp teeth
like the kindest daydream i had ever met