i’ve never had a thick skin
never known, how to bounce off the bullets
and still not lose track of the beat
keep strumming
keep moving
and flip my hair, or i’m supposed to do
but instead i pick old animal instincts
like slivers from tender skin
instead i play sad songs on guitar
and feel like a god amongst men
’cause hard work, that i can do
and if life really is nothing but a mertiocracy, i think i can handle that
but i know it isn’t
i know nothing makes sense
i know i’ll never really know
why you said what you said
but i can still let it hit me
like a shockwave, let it squirm into my bones
you are a parasite
and a drug
and it’s all i can think about at night
and i’ve lost months on end of my life
to this slithering obsession
’cause if i could just make you happy
if i could make one person happy
there can’t be a cost-benefit equation to that, right?
so it’s worth it
it’s worth the mud on my knees
and it’s worth bloodletting treatments
to get the demon out from under my skin
worth bug bites
and cuts and scrapes and bruises
it’s worth all of it
for that look on your face
when i read my words
just. so.
and your peach tea love
washed over me in waves
left me sticky-sweet and gross
but it’s the gesture that counts, really
there’s not a lot to go around
i’m not gonna be picky