pov: you are catching up with me on a sunday afternoon

Hey there! I’ve been really reconsidering this blog of late, and figuring out what the hell I want to do with it, because I’m out of school so it’s time for my annual creativity-related-life crisis. Anyway, I thought this might be a fun thing to do, since summer just started and all, and I feel like I do so many poetry posts, I don’t really get to just… talk, like a casual normal person, into the void. (Rather than waxing poetic into the void, which is very different actually.)

So, how have you been doing, dear reader? Is it unbearably hot where you are, or is the weather really nice, so you can actually get out sometimes? (See what I’m doing here? Classic small talk. I know how to interact with people. Uh-huh, definitely.)

If you’re in school, are you excited to be done, or dreading the next few months of having nothing to distract you from your mind, like myself? Have you been doing any fun summer activities, such as taking on more hours at work, refusing to leave the house during normal waking hours because it’s so ridiculously hot, or hanging out with your friends? I am genuinely curious, please let me know, hearing from people makes my day.

I’ve been all over the place of late–I’ve been working a bit more, because it’s summer, and if I don’t constantly occupy myself I will spiral into an anxious breakdown. Also, everyone wants you to garden for them right now. I’ve been trying to learn to draw (emphasis on trying, who knows how long it’s going to last) and doing little covers on guitar and ukulele, because I’m finally good enough I can tell myself I’m sort of doing the songs justice, and not totally be lying. I have been spending too much time on my phone. I have been not sleeping at the right hours, or enough, because the stupid sun is deciding to rise early, and I hate closing the curtains and waking up in a dark, depressing room tinted green, even though it’s a very small task. I’m going to visit a friend, soon, and I’m a little nervous but also just really excited to see her. To have some kind of normalcy, I guess? It feels weird to see things opening back up, and honestly, it makes me really nervous. I don’t know if that’s logical or not, but it does.

And it kinda feels like the world is ending, but then… it always does, right?

I’ve been swimming a ton. I used to be a big swimming kid, I thought I was gonna do it competitively, but it never happened–which is good, it was not a healthy fixation. Anyway, I still love swimming with my whole heart, just as a hobby, I always feel so peaceful–like, the best kind of alone.

I’m hoping to release the first episode of my podcast (which is called We Are Here, it’s very cool I promise, and you can follow us on Twitter here) either this month or early August, which is exciting. And scary, and weird, that this thing I’ve been sitting on for over a year is going to be out in the world soon. I sort of want to stop time, right here–not because right here is particularly remarkable or great, I’m just very scared of the unknown.

I’m excited for my courses next year, that’s something I really genuinely look forward to. I’ve got most of the mandatory ones out of the way, which means I get to take 20th Century World History, and Sign Language, and Astronomy, and Photography, and Social Justice, and Marketing, and at least right now, I’m very optimistic. Even though I still have no idea what I want to do post-graduation. Of course, the idea of learning is always ten times more fun than the actual agony of staring at a computer screen for hours on end and reminding yourself why you thought taking this course was a good idea, but still.

It’s a small thing, but a few days ago, I went out for lunch with a friend, and we wandered around these little vintage stores afterwards, and I got this really cute dress, and a super comfy romper that I’m wearing right now, and every time I look in the mirror I do a little happy dance. And, like, don’t feel terrible in my body, which is really nice. And every few days, I’ve been picking a fresh batch of sweet peas from the garden, to put on my desk. I don’t know, sometimes it makes the world of difference to just… get yourself pretty things, if you can. I think. In moderation. I mean, I’ve never done it before, but you know, this trial run is going pretty good so far.

And that’s… all I can really think of, off the top of my head. I hope this was kind of nice to read–like a Day in the Life post, but without the commitment of remembering what I did this morning, and ensuring my day was, in fact, interesting. Anyway, I will hopefully see you soon.

Lots of love,

Lorna

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