A picture I took on a walk, right around sunset! I thought I wanted the sun to be at the centre, but honestly, I really like how it looks casting the edge in golden light, I feel like it turned out looking kinda cool, and vaguely vintage? (Like it was shot with a film camera, maybe?) I don’t know, I thought it was pretty.
All the flowers are blooming here! I took this on one of my walks, and I loved what I did with the editing, I thought I brought out the pink really well. I don’t know what to say–I’m honestly just really tired right now. I’ve been juggling a lot of different stuff, and sometimes it feels like any moment now it’s gonna spin out of control. Except, in the end, it never does, which is… encouraging? Maybe? I don’t know.
I really want to start getting into this blog again, and last night I got super inspired and wrote down a few post ideas. I love the idea of being, like a proper blogger, but I don’t know what there is to write about.
Honestly, I’m not the best person to give our advice, and my life isn’t particularly exciting. I love doing these diary-type posts, but I don’t know if anyone really reads them. I vaguely like the idea of writing essays too, but I don’t really have any big important opinions to impart on the world. I’m still figuring my shit out. But I’m trying to be patient with myself about that, as best as I can.
This whole month just feels like it’s gone by so fast–I’m almost done with tenth grade, and I’ve been working on completing my course selection forms for next year, which has so far given me one mental breakdown and counting. Because everyone is talking about university, and it feels like this thing is being shoved down my throat before I have enough time to think about it. And the idea of being in post-secondary education makes me want to throw up, and oh god, I’m just so ready to finish high school and so completely not?
And the thing is, I know exactly what makes me happy, what I want to do with my life–it’s just what I want isn’t exactly practical, and I have no idea how I’m supposed to get there. I just wish I could hit pause on everything for a moment, so I could have enough time to figure things out.
I’m trying to think of something wise and optimistic to say here, but honestly, this month has been kind of a downer. There have been some nice moments in there, but overall, just a big meh.
Which I guess is just life, sometimes. I’ll figure it out, and I hope, whatever you’re going through, we can fumble our way through it together.
Lots of love,