moonrise

you say that it’s gonna be all right. cup my cheeks in your hands; promise sunshine and riches beyond my wildest dreams, your wish is my command.

so i’ll be pixie dust and moonrise, slipping off your fingertips. you build me a kingdom, and it’s nice. to live on a monopoly board, where money comes easy, and so does hope. to dance around my room, singing into a hairbrush so loud i forget that i’m alone.

and i know it’s so silly, and i’ll laugh at myself later. but i don’t really care. because right now, i’m dust in the wind, i’m the city at night, i’m the fire in your bones. i stumble through the chords with my eyes closed.

piece together a soft, slow melody like a puzzle. and it’s messy, and confusing, it’s nails into my heart, and it keeps going. even when i don’t want it to. even when i’m tired, and furious at the world. calls me small, and insignificant. and maybe it’s right. maybe we’re all fucking screwed, sandcastle civilizations and morning dew.

a cry for help, and a bleeding wound. maybe it hurts sometimes. maybe there will always be days, when i feel like i’m going to die. but i’ve done this, a million times over. learned every creaky floorboard of the haunted house inside my mind. talked it down, and unwound its knotted threads.

so i’ll take my worst nightmares out to tea. let them hold my hand, and cry. and it’s scary, and confusing, and i don’t know what i’m doing. but i think i have to try.

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