just let the deep breaths wash away all of it.

because maybe it’s healthy. maybe it isn’t. but i’ve bottled up the memories in old jam jars and packaged them up in battered amazon boxes, stuffed them to the back of the closet, and i just want this to be over. i’m done with it. 

so we’ll toss my mind out to sea, okay? walk miles and miles just to find the ocean, balancing the past on our shoulders. and why can’t you get out of my head? i thought i was fine. i thought this was over.

and we’ll sing songs around the campfire, and watch as the past starts to burn into the sand. because i don’t want anything to do with it anymore.

scatter the ashes. throw them in the garbage, stomp them down to nothing on the kitchen floor. and never bring it up again.

because i told you. i don’t want to think about this anymore.

I guess repressing stuff is a lot easier than dealing with it. And, well, of late, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been struggling with that of late, more than a little bit. Being distanced from the world, like most people are right now is giving me a lot more time to dwell in the past and worry about the things that happened to me then repeating themselves. It’s been a little better this week than it was when I wrote this, but, um… yeah. Anyhow, how are you guys doing? Has anyone else been feeling like this of late? I’d love to know your experiences in the comments, and I’m really glad to have this blog as an outlet during these times ❤

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