side effect

trigger warning: implied self-harm

i don’t know. maybe it’s my meds. maybe i’m spinning spinning spinning, and we all know she’s gonna hit the edge. gonna go plummeting over, right into the abyss. going to scream at the darkness swallows her, because she’s never felt anything like this.

and she’s weak, and coddled, and stupid. and i can’t believe she thinks this is suffering, because this? this is barely the start of it.

trying to get better, and always failing at it.  burning yourself out to nothing, and working until 1a.m., and crying in the school bathroom just trying to live with the marks on your wrists. and life isn’t fair, you idiot. stop asking what you did to deserve this

it just… happened. because your dna sucks, or because trauma is a bitch, and maybe it’s just my meds. or maybe it’s depression. because i know there are people who get better, i know there are people who learn how to live like this but right now… it’s pretty hard to believe it.

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