october 28th, 2019

this is the perfect time to stop answering my text messages. as i’m clawing myself out of quicksand. screaming for someone to help. but no matter how hard they try, no one can save me from myself. 

because i’d rather be sad and alone than out of control. rather be respected for a lie than infantilized for a truth buried deep. down. inside.

so call the lightning bolts a show of nature. ignore the cities burning down across my cheeks. let me cry in the corner and please just ignore me. i’m begging you to ignore me.

because i never asked for you to love me. and if this is how you care about me than maybe i don’t want you to care about me.

maybe i was right all along. maybe i’m just… one of those people who’s made to be lonely.

I’ve been really struggling with cutting myself off of late. I’m normally not that kind of person, like I’ve probably said in earlier posts–communication is one of my strong suits, so it’s weird to be struggling so much with it. This was written and shoved in my queue ages ago, probably around the date the title says, but even a month after having probably written it, this still hits really close to home for me. 

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