october 21st, 2019

i don’t get it. i’m sorry. could you please just explain this to me again? i know i’m not always a good person.

it’s cold out, and i just want to turn back time to last year. when i was naive, and for a couple scattered, fleeting, days, everything was beautiful. but i can’t do that. so… here i am.

and maybe i was just a really lonely kid. maybe i clung to promises more than i should have, for the sole purpose of needing something to hold onto. but i still miss you.

and if you ever read this, i just want to say i’m sorry if i hurt you. if i did something wrong. and i’m not angry. i get it. i miss you, and i wish you were here, but i get it.  you’ve moved on. and it’s ok. you don’t need my permission to be whoever you want.

so i hope you’re happy. i hope you’re really happy. i hope you’re who you want to be.

and… thank you. for all the things you’ve given me.

I know this is based off something that happened in my life, but I’m not sure what exactly what it is anymore. Just some nostalgic/regretful memories in general I guess?

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