trigger warning: suicidal thoughts (in the context of recovery)

i just want to write something to do justice to the small things. like watching avatar: the last airbender with your friends. and screaming when the episode ends. or like… writing in bed, curled up with your computer, listening to the soundtracks of musicals you’ve never actually seen before. and the moments where amid the storm, for the first time in a long time, you actually kind of feel warm. and when your organs are not made of lead, and when you do not want to die, and you are free to be whatever you like. and when you mind isn’t the end. and when, for one, precious moment… you’re not the property of your head.

everything is still really rough. at least, right now, as i edit this poem. it’s been a really rough night. it’s been a really rough couple of nights. i’m just so tired of being sick–i don’t want to be sick anymore. i just want to be all right. is that too much to ask? i just want to be all right. if you need any help, my mental health resources masterpost is here. i hope you’re all doing okay.

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