a good day

a good day(1).png

and maybe i will take lavender baths / because that sounds like something people would do in poetry / and i will go to bed at midnight and wake up at 10a.m. and i will not need coffee to wake up / and i will be calm / and i will not use food as a way of burying my emotions / and i will keep trying /  i will keep writing / sorting through my feelings like puzzle pieces and i will try to go slowly / i will try to shatter myself under the weight of expectation / i will try / and i’ll probably fail half the time / but i’ll try to be the kind of person my therapist would be proud to hear about / the kind of person who knows what they’re doing inside their own mind / and / i will stay up late / writing alternate universes where we are superheroes / listening to the sound of the cicadas / and the keystrokes / and the hope / the small, lonely piece of hope / a car ride and we’re all alone / and i will try and not be swallowed this time / and i will try to figure out who i am without everyone else inside of me / and i will try / and today is international self-care day and i feel like it’s kind of pathetic how terrible i have been at this so far all right / and i will try to love myself as the me i am / or at least figure out what that even looks like right now / and i will try / and i will try and sleep well / enough / well / enough / and breathe / and believe / that i will get through this / eventually / and try not to feel like i’m standing at the edge of some highway with my hand out in the air waiting for someone to pick me up / and the heat is splitting / and my mind is slowly dissolving / and i will try to talk back to my anxiety / and maybe this time / it’ll feel / something like reality

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